oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
