it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
