yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
