I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
