He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
