Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
