There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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