So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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