found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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