Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I want to fling myself into the sun
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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