Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
