where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
