So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
