Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
