I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
