It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
