he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
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