You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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