dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
