pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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