doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
