so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize