Plan B is the new Plan A
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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