I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
