Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
