every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Rumble strips road head = magical
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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