I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
