she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
