Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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