brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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