I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
