rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
