We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
