what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
