just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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