your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
