Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
