I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
