I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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