If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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