When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
