Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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