If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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