wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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