lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
