But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
