Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
