is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
