lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
