Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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