Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent

Fav 44 1595 2876
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(503): View more from Oregon

Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum

Fav 26 4876 889
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

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(661): View more from California

i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..

(951): View more from California

u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!

(661): View more from California

i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

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(760): View more from California

so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?

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(816): View more from Missouri

votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

Fav 8 1208 2274
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.

Fav 1 314 198
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?

Fav 0 31 17
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