i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
