That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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