Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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