I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
