therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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