If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
