I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
