She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
