I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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